When love comes of age

Thirteen years married! It's no joke! Well, in our day and age, when the sanctity of marriage is belittled by those who ought to protect it, I cannot but thank God for bringing Linda and I this far.

Thirteen, the first of the teenage years. The Bar Mitzvah year of transition into manhood. Probably, this may be the year when our love come of age. This one thing I know, love at year 13 is different from love at year 1! What are the differences?

At year 1, love is first emotional before it is rational.
At year 13, love is first rational before it is emotional.
At year 1, love is more emotional than rational.
At year 13, love is more rational than emotional.
At year 1, love is learning to trust.
At year 13, love has learnt to trust (hopefully!).
At year 1, love is more delighted when it receives.
At year 13, love is more delighted when it gives...

In all this, the most important thing is for God to be involved in the union of a man with a woman from day 1. This, to me, is a key to longevity in marriage - and I don't mean casual involvement. I have observed that nowadays, when it comes to choosing a partner, people involve God at varying degrees. (Well, since Adam blamed God for the wife who caused his disobedience, God will only get involved in our choice of partner to the degree that we involve Him, hence "He who finds a wife..." and not "He who is given a wife...").

In other words, if love will truly come of age, the opinion of Him who sees the end from the beginning must be highly sought. He knows who is best for us, not just in year 1 but also in year 13 and beyond. I cannot stress this enough. Dating is good. Checking compartibility is not wrong. (And there are a catalogue of other practical things that one can do to be sure of Mr. or Mrs. Right). But having God's express instruction and approval is priceless. It may be the lifeline at crucial break points. It has been for us! (What does this say about learning to hear and obey God now, in the 'small things', rather than learning to know His voice when the time to choose comes?).

I know that marriages break at year 1 as they do at year 13 (or any other year for that matter), but with a strong commitment to God and the marriage covenant, anti-marriage forces stand no chance. We've withstood many in our short time, and I can tell anyone that it is better to fight and win than to give up and flee. With God, all things are possible.

I, perhaps, will take this a bit deeper, soon (as time permits). But I am glad that 'Mine' (my pet name for Linda) is still mine and we are both His!

Father, what can I say? Thank you for keeping us in your love and for teaching us what it means to love. Amen.